It seems to me...

That some people are confuse about what equality really means. I have a friend who went to college and had a feminism class, and most of the class was about finding anti-woman remarks in just about anything someone might say. Even if that meant taking things out of context.

I have nothing against feminism. I am all for it! I just don’t agree with the fanatical feminists. Fanatics in any group kind of scare me, because they are the ones that truly give the groups bad names anymore.

Feminism is about equality. It is not about women rising above men. I don’t buy the idea, either, that women must rise above men in order to be equal to men because the world is pro-man and anti-woman.

If we were all equal, then the world would not be pro-man or pro-woman, it would just be pro-person. And feminism is also about women being allowed to make their own choices without anyone telling her she is wrong because of her sex.

Yet, many feminists get all bent out of shape when women want to choose to be stay-at-home mothers. They insist that that woman is lazy, or that she has no backbone or no ambition. Isn’t feminism about not judging women for their choices based on the fact that they are women? So, then, why are so many feminists all bent out of shape over this particular issue?

I suppose that it is possible they see it as a woman who is taking a step backward, rather than a step forward. I don’t see it that way, myself. I am not a mother, so no this is not me being angry because people called me lazy because I wanted to be a stay-at-home mom. But, I do know women who are mothers, and a couple of them wanted to be stay-at-home mothers and came up against much opposition from family and friends who couldn’t understand their point of view.

I think it is anti-feminist to judge a woman for wanting to be a stay-at-home mom just because she is a woman and “could do more” with her life. There is nothing wrong with staying home and raising the children. Just so long as this is a choice SHE wants to make. Not that her husband wants to make.

In fact, when you are married decisions like this need to be mutual. Not one person making a choice over another person. So, as long as they can afford to live on a single income, and as long as the choice is mutual between the couple, what is wrong with her staying at home? Nothing, from what I see.

However, I do agree that if a woman wants to stay home to raise the kids because she thinks that is what she is expected to do, or because her husband has decided to be controling over it…is extremely wrong. I also think that if she wants to stay at home because she thinks that that is just a woman’s job, that is also wrong.

A woman’s job does not begin and end with her reproductive organs. A woman has just as much potential as any man does, and should have every same right as a man does.

But, if a man is allowed to choose to stay at home or go to work, should not then a woman also be allowed to choose to do that? I hear quite often, “let the man stay home, while the woman goes to work!” and other such suggestions.

My answer? Fine. Let him! If he wants to. But, if a woman wants to do that it is wrong to judge her for wanting to.

That, to me, is true equality. There should be no “male” role or “female” role in society as far as such things go.

Being a stay-at-home mom when a woman wants to be is just fine. Provided, as I said, it is realistic. The same thing goes for stay-at-home dads. Again, provided it is realistic.

In this economy right now, though, it is probably unrealistic for most families to opt for one parent to stay at home. It IS lazy, or at least irresponsible, for a woman OR a man to be a stay-at-home parent if they cannot afford to do so.

And that is the only time a person should be judged on such things. Not because she is a woman staying at home raising the kids. Not because he is a man doing a “woman’s” job. But, because, instead, it is under unrealistic circumstances.

I am very tired of hearing women who claim to be feminists calling other women lazy or spineless because they would rather stay at home and raise their children when they have the realistic means to do so. Why? Because, those women are not feminists. They are anti-feminists, because they are judging the woman on the basis of the fact that she is a woman.

I know that often women who do this will insist that it isn’t true. But, it is! I can’t see how else you can spin it. Many of those same women will also say, “let the man stay home instead!” but that is proving my point! It’s okay for the man to do it, but not the woman? That’s just reversing the problem.

Reversing a problem doesn’t give a solution to it. It just furthers the same problem with the shoe on the other foot. I suppose that revenge is a nice thought, but it is silly and petty. The only goal should be equality, because that is what feminism is about. Equality.

It should be no more okay for a woman to go to work, than for a man to go to work. It should also be no more okay for a man to stay at home and raise the children than for a woman to do so. Just so long as she is doing it because SHE wants to. Not because she HAS to or because a man TOLD her to.

And please understand that I am not bashing feminism or feminists with this post! I am only referring to the feminists who take such a fanatical stance on feminine rights that they want to elevate women above men, rather than just stand equally beside each other.

Equality is equality. Equal rights are equal rights. In my opinion, it deminishes the whole concept of feminism and the entire struggle if we try to put the shoe on the other foot rather than put the shoes away instead.